Be happy — that’s the subject matter that 425 people who gathered in Washington, D.C. several years ago wanted to know.
And the expert who was going to teach them was none other than Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, associate of the Harvard psychology department and best selling author.
Ben-Shahar’s passion is teaching and the subject he enjoys sharing with students is positive psychology.
His Harvard course on the subject of how to be happy has been offered several times with an enrollment of 854 students, one of the largest of any course offered.
He is one of the best-known positive psychologists alive. He is changing how the psychiatric field approaches the topic of happiness.
And what has he discovered about happiness is mind-blowing. For instance ….
Understanding Why Humans Strive to Be Happy
Humans aren’t necessarily hard-wired for happiness. In fact for much of its history, psychology has seemed obsessed with human failings and pathology.
The very idea of psychotherapy, first formalized by Freud, rests on a view of human beings as troubled creatures in need of repair.
However, a watershed moment arrived in 1998, when University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman urged psychology to “turn toward understanding and building the human strengths to complement our emphasis on healing damage.”
He became the worlds’ leading scholar on optimism. And since then, new players like Dr. Ben-Shahar have emerged.
So what have these experts discovered about people should do in order to be happy?
Here are 12 insider secrets on how to be happy.
Tip #1 Focus on the positive: To find long-term happiness, you need to retrain your brain from a negative mindset to a positive mindset. Try these things: Spend one to two minutes looking for positives in your life. Do this three times a day for 45 days, and your brain will start doing it automatically. Then you’ll be happy.
Tip #2 Find your work-life balance: Work takes up a lot of our day as much as 8 to 12 hours, but it shouldn’t be the only thing we do. Pursue activities and interests beyond your job such as hobbies or spending time with friends and loved ones. Include exercise in your schedule as well. It’s about creating balance in your life to help reduce stress and give you other outlets to express yourself.
Tip #3 Accept imperfection: Many of us strive for perfection, to be our best at everything we do. But in order to be truly happy, you have to accept that imperfections exist. Perfection is impossible, and holding others and our selves to these standards is futile. We will always end up feeling let down.
Tip #4 Do what you love: It’s pretty hard to maintain happiness if you hate your job. Don’t waste the best years of your life in a job you hate, even if it’s paying the bills. Instead pursue things that interest you or that you’re truly passionate about. Focus on building a career in an area that provides a high level of satisfaction, one that sets you up to be happy.
Tip #5 Spend wisely: It’s tempting to believe that the more money you have, the happier you’ll be. The old saying money can’t buy happiness is true. While we need money to survive, the key is to spend it wisely. Spending money on experiences such as travel, dining, concerts and so on can make us happier. Happiness connected to material possessions fades, but experiences help us define our purpose and passions in life.
Tip #6 Build meaningful relationships: Happiness, love, friendship and community go hand in hand. As humans, we have a fundamental need to interact and connect with others. We naturally seek the people who will support us, understand us and be there for us through life’s roller-coaster ride. We’re happier when we pursue happiness with others.
Tip #7 Spend time in nature: Some researchers believe that today’s ultra-wired generation is actually suffering from a nature-deficit disorder. Studies have shown that the more time we spend in nature, and the more we relate to the natural world around us, the greater our sense of happiness.
Tip #8 Practice Forgiveness: Forgiving someone for a past transgression can make you feel better. It also makes you healthier and happier. In fact it was Mahatma Gandhi who said, “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” The ability to forgive others helps you be happy.
Tip #9 You can’t please everyone: As much as you want, you’ll never be able to please everyone, so you might as well stop trying. It’s just humanly impossible to do. When you are to focused on living up to other people’s standards, you move further away from being truly happy.
Tip #10 Learn from your mistakes: Face it you’re going to make mistakes in your life. But if you see them as valuable learning experiences, you’re able to recover from the faster. And when this happens, you retain your happiness.
Tip #11 Be Grateful, Not Envious: We deprive ourselves of happiness when envy others instead of be grateful for own accomplishments. When we’re not grateful, we tend to be susceptible to feelings of jealousy and envy. Bertrand Russell sums it up best with this quote, Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings.” Count your own and you’ll be happy.
Tip #12 Smile Often: A smile is so powerful it can turn enemies on your side. And it doesn’t cost you a dime to do it. Smiling is the secret to feeling good. And when we feel good, we are happy. So why not smile more often? It’s the simplest way to be happy.
Follow these tips and you’ll find yourself living a happy, health and financially secure lifestyle.
The post Be Happy: 12 Secrets to Happiness appeared first on The Women's Financial Alliance.